So here is my third instillation of blogging history. Don’t know how many of these things I will actually do…but here is numero 3.
Since it’s been a while, I will catch you up on some stuff that has happened. We left Yellowstone and are now in Utah just outside Zion National Park. We arrived yesterday.
On the way here Jon, the boys, and I stopped in Salt Lake City to tour what is known as Temple Square. Anyone who knows anything knows that I have a mild obsession with Conan O’Brien and with Mormonism as a whole. Since Conan has recently moved to So Cal and I happened to be in Salt Lake, I decided that I had to visit the Mormon mecca….It was fabulous! Mormonism is the weathliest organized religion in the world, and you could definitely tell by their insane mecca of buildings. It was insane, ornate, overwhelmingly sad, and exciting all at the same time… Once we got into the compound, and by compound I do mean that it was huge and gated, we were greeted by a volunteer that offered to hook us up with a free tour. We agreed, and two lovely girls took us around the compound showing us each building and explaining LDS “history.” It was creepy because at any moment I expected the Sham Wow guy to pop out and have us dial a 1-800 number to become a Mormon. At the end of the tour when the two girls were done telling us about how Mormonism was the way to go, I had to politely tell them that I was not interested in joining their mailing list. This alarmed one of them so she asked me if I had prayed to the Holy Spirit and asked Him to show me that Mormonism was real, I politely told her, “Yes, actually I am very very interested in your religions history as well as theology and that is why I cannot ever join….Yes, I have read the Book of Mormon…No I do not believe it is true…..I don’t want to come off as disrespectful but I cannot talk to you anymore and be polite….Thank You and God Bless!”
I think that was pretty good for me! Even Jon was creeped out about the whole sales pitch/brainwashing that they tried to accomplish in a short 30 minute span.
Oh yeah, I mentioned to the girls that this was the third temple that I had visited….They seemed impressed until I complained that I couldn’t actually go inside of any of them..Their response makes me giggle. I will quote it word for word, “Our ceremonies are not SECRET they are SACRED!” Wow, that was amazing. It took a lot for me not to just start laughing. They insisted that Biblically the outsider could not come in because everything about the temple is centered around the idea of baptism and exposing their ceremonies to gentiles would make their “sacredness less special.” Or maybe it’s just that they didn’t want to tell everyone else on the tour that they like to baptize (proxy style) dead people. I don’t know that their sales pitch could end well with that little gem of info laid out straight.
Enough about the crazies, lets talk about Zion and Virgin where we are staying……Yes it is really called Virgin…which is actually pretty funny because I am thoroughly convinced that we are amidst a polygamist colony. No joke. I am just trying to not get sucked into some creepy farmhouse where I will be wifey number 12.
Zion is beautiful and the little town just before it is really cute. I think I am going to buy a souvenir rock for the family that is house-sitting our abode. Who doesn’t want a Mormon rock?
The RV park we are staying at is AMAZING. Since my razor blade got raptured and I am finally sick of walking around like a European chick, I decided to go purchase one at the store within the park. The guy who rang me up was an Indian (American) dude and he directed my attention to a DV D on the shelf next to the check out. I picked it up, it was a martial arts movie. The star of the movie was some Indian (American) dude as this 97th degree ninja warrior guy who kicked some major cowboy ass. Who doesn’t like a good cowboy and Indian (American) ninja flick… I looked up and was amazed to realize that the Indian ninja was none other than the Indian dude that was staring right at me. He was a real ninja. 8th degree black belt and a rapper!!! No, I am not kidding. After I asked him about his steller acting career he showed me his latest CD, which included him rapping. He was very proud to let me know that he is HUGE in Europe….Thankfully after he was telling me what number his last album hit on the music charts, Cheeto informed me that he had a booger that needed my attention….so I excused myself gracefully and made sure to make the Indian (American) dude feel like I was impressed by his skills. Weird.
We only have like 5 days till we are home, I might be able to squeeze one more blog into this trip, so until then….Peace out.
Today was fun! We went drove to Grand Tetons National Park, to Jackson Hole Wyoming, and saw the mythological beast known as the MOOSE!!!! I am so excited….we literally spent 8 hours today looking for this goofy looking animal…..and where do we find it…..on the way back to camp after we had given up and driven over 200 miles!! It was amazing. I named the moose “Mo” and he was fabulous. Since I am a moosologist I sumized that Mo is about 4 years old and is working on growing his moose horns.